2020 HERE I COME!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
As I kick off this new decade I wanted to thank all of my clients who have made 2019 AMAZING!  This has been an extremely challenging year for my family and for me, personally.  It has been a year full of loss, personal development, and a lot of chapters in my life coming to a close.  But the amount of growth my business has had this year is incredible and an absolute dream come true.  

The end of January marks the start of my 7th year in business and I am still in shock at how much this profession has provided me, both personally and professionally.  When I started my business, I was fresh out of graduate school and wanted no part of the art historian career path I had invested so much time and money into.  I remember sitting in lectures listening to the stories of how people found their way into their career, and not one of them was doing what they originally set out to do.  I felt so overwhelmed by that, especially since I knew in my heart that this was not the life I wanted.  When I came home from London I had a masters degree, a ton of student loan debt, and zero clue what was ahead or where to go.  I felt like a little girl who loved taking photos and loved working with people, but I had no clue what to do with that.  I applied to so many jobs, had a handful of interviews, a few leads, but no job offers.  It was daunting and very discouraging.  Here I was with a lot of education, little experience, and even less self confidence.  I thankfully had a soon-to-be husband who believed in me, but the biggest challenge professionally was convincing someone to take a chance on me by offering me a job. When that offer never came I decided I needed to create my own opportunity. When I started this business I had no idea if I could make this dream into a career.  But I had a husband who believed in me and a serious drive to make it happen.  So I went for it. I certainly could not have imagined the potential or direction that drive and passion would have taken me.

From year one until now my business has truly transformed into something I am so proud of.  Every year I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone, tackled the balance of my day job with my side hustle, and dealt with some really significant life changing moments. By being a small business owner through all of that I have learned more about myself in those 7 years than i have in my entire life.  When I started this career path my ultimate goal was to provide income for my family while staying home with my kids.   And each year I had the opportunity to be one step closer to both of those dreams.  When I finally quit my day job in 2015 I was terrified, but because of the trust of my clients and their continual support I have not once looked back. There have been SO many tears, late nights,  and a lot of self-doubt.  BUT, at the same time, there have been light bulb moments, bursts of creativity, and some of the most extraordinary moments.  I also had the blessing of enjoying every moment of pregnancy and then being home to watch my daughter take her first steps, say her first words, and literally photograph her every single day of her life. All while pursuing my dream job.  And after a year like this one I cannot be more thankful for that gift.  

This year alone I photographed 162 sessions (42 more than last year) and met 57 new families. That is HUGE!  That means 105 of those sessions were from families who came back to see me again and that is the greatest compliment a photographer and business owner could ever hope for.  We have been through so much the last few years but this year really hit me hard and it was because of my clients being so incredibly compassionate and supportive that gave me the drive to keep on trucking.  And I cannot thank you enough.  It has been with your trust, patience, and willingness to be that person to take a chance on me and my artistic vision that has brought me to this point in my career.  I cannot thank you enough or tell you how thankful I am to have been able to capture your most important, private, and pivotal moments of your lives.  It is because of that faith in me that this year has been so successful. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Some of my favorite images of all time were captured this year and it is because of every single one of you trusting my creative vision for your session.

I am SO excited to kick off a new decade and to see what 2020 will bring.  I am in the process of revamping my pricing guide and packages and really going to be streamlining my brand.  My goal this year is to push myself even further creatively to give you more gorgeous and unique images.  I am also so excited to start implementing new things I have been learning in a business course I enrolled in this fall.  And I am excited to start making your client experience even more special!

Thank you again so much for supporting my business and for continuing to allow me to photograph your family!  I cannot wait to see you in 2020!! But first here is a recap of my favorite images from 2019! Man it was hard to narrow it down!! <3
Much love,
Laura

THANKSGIVING WEEK AND HAPPY 27 MONTHS FINLEY <3

This week is a really special week for the Gooch house. Jeremy and I absolutely LOVE thanksgiving and actually started dating around that time (the 28th to be exact). This year we celebrate 11 years together on one of our favorite holidays. We also moved into our house 5 years ago on thanksgiving day. This house has seen a lot in those 5 years and we have shared a lot of ups and downs and some big and emotional life changes. For me personally, Thanksgiving always makes me feel hopeful and somehow rejuvenates me a little bit. We always decorate for Christmas early and both of us really try to savor the memories of our first holiday together and a lot of exciting family moments.

Thanksgiving 3 years ago we drove up to Rockville MD for my egg retrieval and were in full force of IVF. It was a really emotional time as we had just lost Jeremy’s dad a month prior and I think we were both so desperate for some sort of good news. If you know us we've had some bizarre medical mishaps that we finally had put behind us and losing his dad was an unexpected tragedy. In the span of 2 months we had experienced one of the most gut wrenching losses, followed by the most incredible miracles. Because five days later we transferred the perfect embryo and our gorgeous Finley was on her way home to us. Her embryo transfer was November 29th and a day that will forever bring the biggest smile to my face. But this year It feels a little different. Because instead of celebrating our family growing we are learning how to celebrate a new reality of us being a family of 3 (plus our little Layla pup).

Over the course of the last year we have tried so hard to build our family. And unfortunately we suffered through 3 rounds of failed cycles and losing all 4 of our remaining embryos. It has been a year of so much more pain and disappointment than I have could have ever imagined. IVF is hard to accept in general, but with each failure I felt like a little part of my soul was gone or lost. And that hope for another baby felt like it was slipping away. I was so ready for our final try and was so emotional going into it. This was it and there was really nothing else I could do, i did it all. We had just lost Oliver and I had to have hope that this last embryo was a fighter. But again, another failed pregnancy test and i felt my dreams of a bigger family come shattering down around me and I was and am devastated. There are so many complicated thoughts and feelings that constantly flood my heart and my head and this fall has been so incredibly difficult. Anyone who knows me or has worked with me knows I am not one to shy away from talking about our baby journey but this year has been a lot harder to share. After our second fail I really started to come apart and felt like I just couldn't be as available as I usually am. I became only mom, business owner, wife (sorry Jeremy) and I honestly have felt like I've been on autopilot trying to navigate these 3 roles without completely falling apart. I apologize to my friends and family who may have felt like I've gone quiet! I am still here I promise!

This year has also been by far my biggest most successful year for my business and it’s no secret I am a workaholic and this year I have worked the hardest I ever have in my life. I am sure sometimes I have over taxed myself physically but sometimes when I am grieving I try to use that hurt as a motivator to push myself into doing something meaningful. And being able to give people images of moments in their life with their family is really all that matters. The reward of this has been enormous this year and I am still in disbelief that I have hit so many goals I have had for my business.

So when I think about all these amazing anniversaries this week I don't think it was any accident that they fell on or around thanksgiving. Because I needed a reminder that everything is going to be ok. It has been a little over a month since we found out our last cycle failed I have not had one minute to breathe or grieve because I jumped head first into the busiest fall I have ever had. Some days I am ok and other days I don't want to get out of bed because I miss my dog and I miss the possibility of another baby. But this week also reminds me of how strong I am and how resilient I am. It also reminds me that I have the most incredible husband who has held me when I cannot breathe because I am crying so hard, who has found a way to make me laugh when it seems like all i do is work then cry. A man who is an unbelievable dad but also a damn good mommy when I cannot be home or I need a breather from mommying all day. This man who 11 years ago changed my life. And even now he continues to walk with me side by side through this hurricane we have gone through and makes me believe everything will be ok. While our hearts still break for the loss of our pup and the loss of our dream for another child he is here loving me when I feel like I am at my weakest.

I also am able to celebrate the most incredible little girl. Today she turns 27 months and in those 27 months she has brought Jeremy and I back to life in a way that only she could. She is a feisty, smart, and wild spirit who smiles more than anyone I have ever met. And good grief is she going to keep our lives so unbelievably full of excitement and spontaneity. As hard as this year has been for me emotionally she forces me show up and even when I want to feel sorry for myself she does something silly to snap me out of it. I think most people who struggle with infertility have a journey and an ending they didnt expect. And for me, our journey feels exhausting and frustrating to end in such a heart breaking way. But one thing I have learned through the last 7 1/2 years with this struggle in our life and it was to savor the good. I never believed my pregnancy would be the only one I had but I truly know I have captured and enjoyed every minute of that experience. So this week I am excited to hold my husband and baby girl a little closer and give our other sweet little puppy a little extra loving because they are my world and I am so lucky to have them. Happy Thanksgiving week to everyone who has followed me and supported me and my business. I am SO thankful to have met and been able to enjoy time with every single one of you and your families. Thank you thank you!! And now i am going to spam you with photos of Finley because I cannot get over how big she looks!!

FINLEY TURNS 2!!!

I am still in shock that I am actually writing this post. How in the world is my little tiny baby girl TWO YEARS OLD!?! When I held her in my arms in those first moments I had no idea of the intensity of love and absolute joy this little girl would bring us every day. She was and is the most incredible blessing to ever come into our lives. The last 2 years have been full of more happiness and emotion than I ever thought was possible and this little human has only made me grow as a person and as a mom. This year has flown by in a blink of an eye and I think I am still processing her first birthday let alone her second. I have decided that year one is all about survival and year two is about learning how to negotiate with a toddler version of yourself about 75x a day. Some days are tougher than others as the terrible two’s are in full swing but other days are some of my absolute favorites.

This year Finley has been learning to swim and grow more and more confident in the water. She is starting her first tumbling class tomorrow and is still SOOO active. She sleeps well at night but those day time naps are getting less and less reliable which is terrifying. She has a huge sweet tooth like her daddy and is gaining the toddler pickiness when it comes to eating. But she still loves beans and eggs. THANK GOD. She has almost all her teeth except those 2nd year molars are still working on her. She finally loves reading books with us and will FINALLY sit on our laps at night while we read. She is the chattiest kid and I love when she will say something new and Jeremy and I look at each other like where did she learn that. She is fiercely independent and being her mom is really an everyday adventure.

My favorite part of every birthday is obviously reflecting on ALL of the hundreds of photos I have taken over the year. Pictures are hit or miss these days, but I do have to say the less I expect the more amazing she does and I am able to bribe her with a little chocolate or her favorite show. ;) In total I have over 931 images (not including cell phone) from this year LOL!! I know I know its insanity. But I love them all. Here is a little recap of the last 12 months! Thanks for following along :)

BABY DEAN | NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHER | STAFFORD, VIRGINIA

Meet Dean! The most handsome baby boy. I had an amazing time snuggling this little cutie pie for his newborn session. He slept the whole time and we got SO many amazing photos. He is turning into the most adorable little boy and I cannot wait to see him again this fall! Here are some of my favorites:

ELLIE IS ONE! | MILESTONE PHOTOGRAPHER | STAFFORD, VIRGINIA

Watching this gorgeous girl grow up has been so incredibly special to me. From being in her mama’s belly to her cake smash I have loved every session. I have loved seeing her hit every new milestones and become a gorgeous little girl. We went with a rose gold and cream color themed smash and it was PERFECT. Ellie was so polite as she enjoyed a few licks of frosting and gave us some great shots!! Ellie you are such a beauty and I cannot wait to see you again! Here are some of my favorites!!

BABY MILA | NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHER | STAFFORD, VA

Meet Mila!! This adorable little nugget was an absolute dream newborn!! She slept the ENTIRE time and was suuuuper cuddly. She posed so well for her solo shots and was even cuter with her handsome big brother for their sibling shots! She is almost 6 months old and I cannot wait to see how she has grown and changed these last few months. BEST part of my job is watching these little miracles grow. Here are a few of my favorites:

TALA MATERNITY | MATERNITY PHOTOGRAPHER | MANASSAS, VIRGINIA

I had the absolute pleasure of photographing these cuties for their maternity session in Feb! Winter sessions can often be hit or miss with temps and foliage but we really lucked out for this one! It wasn’t crazy cold and the the light. OH MY GOODNESS the light! This session proves that even in the gloom of winter there is SO much beauty to be seen. I loved everything about these 2, their love, their excitement for this new adventure and also their willingness to get in the weeds with me ;) Here are a few of my favorites!!

BABY NIKO | NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHER | STAFFORD, VIRGINIA

Everyone knows I adore newborn sessions. But sometimes you meet a family who lets you capture their entire love story. From photographing their gorgeous wedding to their life as fur parents I have seen their love grow in the most beautiful way. When Rachael emailed me that she was pregnant I started crying because nothing brings me more happiness than watching someone become a mom. These two made the transition into parenthood seem effortless. They are both naturals and born to be parents and their happiness seems to have tripled since the birth of their baby boy. It truly is amazing to watch. Not to mention baby Niko is the most adorable little dude. I am so incredibley happy for this gorgeous family and feel so lucky to have photographed them from the beginning! Here are some of my favorites:)

STRAWBERRY FIELDS | FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER | FREDERICKSBURG VIRGINIA

This Spring has been an absolute whirlwind! I am still processing my beginning of the year goals and here we are half way through 2019. Welcome to toddler mommy life and running your own business! bIt still blows my mind that we are in week 2 of June. This weekend I thankfully blocked some time off so I could catch my breathe from what has been my craziest year to date. This year has already far exceeded my expectations for 2019 and I am just so eager to see what the rest of the year has in store. However, that MUCH needed refresh was an amazing way to catch up on some personal sessions that I have been dying to edit. One being our strawberry picking day!! I honestly don't even remember when we went but we had the most gorgeous breezy and overcast day, perfect for crazy photog mom to snap some shots while picking those yummy strawberries. We got to hang out with 2 of our favorite girls and we had an absolute blast! Last year I missed strawberry season and thankfully this year my friend was on top of it otherwise I would have missed it again! I am so excited about these photos!! And I hope you love them too! <3

National Infertility Awareness Week

Did you know that 1 in 8 couples will have difficulty conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy? That statistic is HUGE and a statistic that has drastically affected my life. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and I wanted to take a minute to share a little bit about what this week means to me. I have rewritten what I wanted to say or share about 4 different times because this topic can be really tough for me. And as open as I have tried to be it has seriously impacted my life and my marriage and is still very much a struggle we continue to face.

This year feels very different to me and my feelings about our own infertility journey have really changed over the years. Last year we were riding the high of the birth of our little girl and felt like this was just the beginning of FINALLY having answers and being able to build our family. We had a long and hard road before finally starting IVF, but we had success with it! Success followed by a very incredible and smooth pregnancy. And all of that pain from an infertility diagnosis in 2014, to where we were now seemed to disappear the second I looked into Finley’s eyes for the first time.

It was the first time I openly talked about our struggle to get pregnant. It is also a lot easier to share about something difficult after you finally make it through the darkness. But our baby journey doesn’t end there. We still want a bigger family and there was no doubt in my mind that when the tug to build our family came back, that our results wouldn't be anything less than successful. It worked before, why wouldn't it work this time? What I wasn't prepared for was how to cope with a failure. Or how to accept the intense feelings of guilt and disappointment in myself like maybe I did something wrong, or ate something I shouldn't have, or didn't prepare enough, or didn’t get healthy enough this time around. I was also not prepared for all of those painful memories and emotions and doubt that I thought I had overcome suddenly resurface again. But this time throw in the feelings of shame because well we have such a blessing with Finley and how dare I be so greedy that I want another kid. This may sound crazy, but I cannot even count the times I have been told “at least you have Finley". Hearing this is like a punch in the gut because of course I am thankful for her every single day. But that doesn’t take away my pain or hope for her to experience a sibling and it certainly doesn’t make the disappointment of feeling like your body failed you any easier. It also doesn’t take away the giant pile of cash we just threw into the fire with nothing but anger and sadness to show for it.

There are so many tough conversations I have had play over and over in my head and for the first month after our attempt I really didn’t want to be around anyone. I was angry, and upset, and really just felt extremely resentful of the fact we had to deal with this all over again. I was never worried about adding another kid to our family, but now what if that doesn’t happen? How do I find peace in that and how do I become ok with that? Then of course you wonder how your spouse feels about it all. Because it wasn’t something that only affects me, he too is emotionally invested in this. I really tried to push away the things I was feeling because I wasn’t ready to answer these questions. All I wanted to do was hug Jeremy and Finley and cry and feel sorry for myself.

And I did that. For weeks. I had too, I had to let it out so I could move forward. Because one thing I have learned about being forced to deal with infertility is that this is not something I want to let consume my life anymore. For so long I lived and breathed the pain and anxiety of that diagnosis and it put our marriage into some of its darkest days. I felt like we paused our life and forgot what it was like to enjoy the little things. Jeremy and I have worked so incredibly hard on building up our marriage to a place where we can tackle any serious life event and only grow closer. We hit rock bottom emotionally in those early years of every month not getting pregnant and it sucked. I truly believe infertility has the ability to make your marriage or end it. And we made a choice and promise a long time ago to fight to the bitter end for each other and to choose each other every single day regardless of what we go through. So being the most incredible partner he is, he hugged me, bought me some champagne, and told me it was going to be ok. And we would get through this like we have gotten through everything else that has come before it. We have come so far together as a team and I needed to find a way to make peace with this failure inside myself so I that I could push on and be stronger for my daughter and for my husband.

So how did I snap out of this sadness? The first thing I did was join a Resolve Support group. And i took the toughest step of actually going to a meeting. I needed a place where I could cry and talk about how I was feeling but among people who understood the toll this road can take on you. From this group I connected with others who share in this pain of building their family but more importantly I found a group that understood what I was going through it because they too are in the thick of it with me.

I also really started journaling and when I get negative I have tried to turn each thing into a positive. Jeremy and I have been through some really tough life events in the last 8 years of marriage and I am trying really hard to focus on the positive that came from every single one of those things. Because I refuse to believe it’s all just random back luck. This exercise has really changed my mental well being and really made me feel much better about things not always working out the way you think they should. I have been able to unload a little baggage and most of the heartbreak so I can move forward and continue living.

I also threw myself into my business. I work my butt off every single day but I really just needed to be around clients who shared in this joy of celebrating their family. From day one that has been the most amazing way to cope with infertility. Some say I am crazy to focus on maternity and newborn because it’s a constant reminder of my struggle but honestly it just makes it that much more special for me to document. Because I know how priceless every photo I have taken of my family is and to give someone that gift is the greatest feeling of all. It is also the thing that brings me so much joy and inner peace. And every once in awhile I meet a mom and dad who also had their own infertility struggle and whether we have more kids or not I feel so incredibly lucky to continue to meet people who fought their fight to build their family in the way that was meant for them.

So during this week I ask everyone who may not directly be affected by infertility to take a minute and learn a little bit about it. Here is a great resource to gain a little understanding. Because the more infertility is talked about the more it doesn’t seem so terrifying or feel so shameful. It’s a road that is hard and looks so different to every person it affects and it should not be fought alone! And If you are someone who is dealing with this I would love to hear your story. Because you are not alone and I promise you will get through this.

~Laura

Finley on her 2nd transfer anniversary. Was during our 2 week wait and is my reminder that everything will be ok :)