It's OFFICIAL!!  I AM A MOMMY!! :) What a whirlwind the last 3 weeks have been.  This is really the first time I have been able to sit down and put into words how intense and how amazing and life changing this entire experience has been. 

The crazy birth excitement began Thursday August 24th, at 6:30 am with an induction at 41 weeks.  I didn't really have much of a birth plan because everyone told me the more you have your mind made up about how you want things to go, the more they go the opposite.  So my main goal was to go in open minded and not have my mind set on anything.  However, I really was hoping to not be induced or get a c-section. HA! Joke was on me because here we were at 41 weeks and nothing but several false alarms in the weeks prior.  So most of thursday was spent watching Stranger Things on Netflix and trying to rest up for when the meds got my labor to kick in. 

It did start to kick in later that day and wowee it came on fast.  I spent hours on my birthing ball, breathing through the contractions while Jeremy was putting pressure on my lower back and was making sure the Pink Floyd was playing to keep me as relaxed as possible.  This went on for what felt like forever and with each hour the contractions got closer together and started getting more intense.  I was exhausted already and I knew we still had a long way to go, and I started to debate the epidural.  For me the epidural scared me.  There is so much pressure to go all natural, and while that sounds great, knowing how slowly you are dilating and how the pain is getting worse, well it was a no brainer! Epidural please!  Honestly, it was the best decision I made because I finally got a breather and by the time they broke my water I was able to rest for a little bit.  They even did an ultrasound to make sure Finley was in the correct position and she was!  Good news!

The next morning is when things got real.  By 9 am I was fully dilated and I was ready to push.  The first set of pushing only lasted a few minutes and because Finley was not really moving down, we opted for the amazing peanut ball to help naturally progress her further without exhausting myself from pushing too early.  Hours went by and Finley started to naturally progress and it became time to push again.  Over two hours of pushing passed and I felt like she just wasn't coming. And the pain started to get worse.  The crazy thing about an epidural is yes it helps VERY well with the labor pain, but back labor is different and it doesn't do ANYTHING.  So naturally I was getting increasingly discouraged and tired.  And I was in a lot of pain.  And Finley was not coming.  We eventually had to make the call to try the vacuum in hopes that would get her out.  Cue the waterworks.  I was a mess but at this point something had to be done.  Unfortunately, she didn't budge and the doc made the call that we needed to do an emergency c-section.  I just lost it. Full blown hysterics.  I was terrified, in so much pain, and seriously freaking out.  I don't think I had ever been so scared in my entire life.  The other part of my "birth plan" was hoping I would not need a c-section.  HA! Here we go again!  The whole surgery was just bizzare!  The craziest part was Jeremy was talking to me one second and the next we heard this cry and we both yelled,"is that our baby?"  And then there she was!  The most amazing little person with a full head of black hair wailing as the doctor lifted her up for us to see her.  And here she was born at exactly 4pm.  I seriously felt like I was dreaming.  And thankfully my anesthesiologist was AMAZING and had music playing for me and talked to me the entire time when Jeremy was with Finley.  A few minutes later they brought her to me and I got to hold her for the first time.  My beautiful baby girl weighing 8lbs 11 oz and was 20 inches.  It was absolutely surreal.

Fast forward to getting back home because the next few hours and days were not the most pleasant and well that part is over! :) Recovery has been a little harder that I expected but that's because you really cannot do a lot those first few days and I had to rely heavily on Jeremy.  Who, thank God, has been AMAZING.  And if you know me I do not do well being unable to do anything and be stuck in the house.  But each week the pain has gotten less and I am able to do A LOT more.  We have really enjoyed the cuddling and the bonding and just figuring each other out.  I have been super emotional and overwhelmed at times but I think that's totally normal!  You really forget how much your body has just gone through and the emotional toll it takes on you.  Your world has completely changed and you have all these new emotions and worries and I have to remember that it's ok to cry sometimes.  My biggest reminder to myself has been to take it slow and heal and just enjoy the baby snuggles while she's still so tiny!  And also to just go with the flow and that has COMPLETELY helped me to relax and enjoy every day so much more!  Even when my little stinker has not cooperated for pictures at all!! LOL!!  I have had to accept that the 1-2 photos we get each time we attempt a photoshoot are a HUGE success.  Which is hard when you are photographer and want everything to be perfect!  So here are some of my favorite shots we have taken so far and some pictures from her birthday(thanks to my amazing hubby). Happy 3 weeks baby girl!!